How to Approach Someone at the Bar Conversation Starters

Say: 'Do you believe in love at first time?' Then say, 'Okay, I'll walk by again'

Walk up and ask: 'Okay real question — what should I order? I've been staring at this menu for five minutes and I'm no closer.'

Point to their drink and say: 'That looks dangerously good. What is it?'

If there's music playing, turn to them and ask: 'Do you know who this is? I feel like I should know this and it's driving me crazy.'

Say: 'I'm going to be honest — my friend dared me to talk to a stranger tonight. You looked the least terrifying. Hi, I'm [name].'

Slide next to them at the bar and say: 'I'm doing an informal poll. Best thing on the menu here — go.'

If they're alone: 'Hey, are you waiting for someone or are you one of the brave ones flying solo tonight?' Then add: 'Respect either way.'

Make eye contact, smile, and just say: 'Hi. I kept almost coming over and then chickening out, so I figured I'd just do it. I'm [name].'

Ask: 'What's your go-to order when you have absolutely no idea what you want?' Then actually order it.

If they laugh at something (the bartender, a friend, anything) — catch the moment and say: 'Okay, what was that about? I feel like I missed something good.'

Walk up and say: 'I'm going to pretend I came over to look at the drink menu. You can pretend you didn't notice. Deal?'

Ask: 'Do you come here a lot or are you also just figuring out the vibe?' Then actually engage with whatever they say.

Try: 'Okay genuine question — are you having a good night or a great night? Because you look like it could go either way.' Wait for the story.

Say: 'I have a theory that you can tell a lot about someone by what they order at a bar. What does your drink say about you?'

Ask: 'If you had to recommend one thing to do in this city to someone who just arrived today, what would it be?' Then tell them yours.

If they're with friends and the group seems open, walk over and say: 'I'm going to be bold and just introduce myself to the whole group at once. Hi everyone, I'm [name].'

Ask: 'What's the most random thing that happened to you this week? Doesn't have to be interesting — mine definitely wasn't.'

Try: 'Okay I need an outside opinion. My friend and I are having a debate and I need a tiebreaker.' Pick something fun and low stakes.

Say: 'You seem like you have a good story. Is that a fair assumption or am I projecting?' Let them run with it.

Ask: 'What do you do for fun when you're not standing at a bar looking like you have your life together?'

If the bar is loud, lean in and say: 'I genuinely cannot hear a thing in here but I still wanted to come say hi. I'm [name].' The effort alone is charming.

Ask: 'What's something you're kind of obsessed with right now that most people in your life are tired of hearing about?' Share yours first to make it easier.

Say: 'I'm going to ask you a weird question and you can totally say pass — what made you want to come out tonight?'

Try: 'What's something you've changed your mind about recently? Big or small.' It tells you a lot about how someone thinks.

Ask: 'If tonight turned into an unexpectedly great story you were telling people next week, what would have to happen?'

Say: 'Genuine question — what's the best conversation you've had recently and what made it good?' Then listen like you mean it.

Ask: 'What's something you're looking forward to right now? Doesn't have to be big.' People light up when they talk about things they're excited about.

Try: 'What's a version of your life you almost lived that you still think about sometimes?' Order another round before you ask this one.

Say: 'Okay I want to know one thing about you that wouldn't fit on your LinkedIn or your dating profile. Go.'

Ask: 'What do you think makes someone genuinely interesting to talk to?' Then ask them if they think they qualify.

If the conversation is flowing, say: 'I'm really glad I came over. What made you decide to come out tonight?' Circle back to the beginning and let them know it mattered.